Friday, September 22, 2006

Making sense of my dreams

There has been much written about the psycho-analysis behind dreams...do they express our supressed feelings..do they reflect our fears...yaah sometimes i can relate the dream to a particular emotion i might have carried for long...but many times it just seems like a jig saw puzzle.

For example my dream last nite, it was a marathon dream with the scene changing like evry 20 minutes..with many plots and sub plots within the larger script...so here goes

Scene 1: I see M giving an interview with a private equity(PE) firm >>> linkages i can draw, M yest told me about his interview with some firm in another 2 days...and another friend of mine spoke about this particual PE firm picking people at 2x and 3x times salary...jig saw completed..anyways M was like cracking every question in that interview

Scene 2: I see my school friend(havent met or seen him in past 6 years) who was quite 'we dont need no education' types, working in this PE firm>>>> linkage: A school friend(not him) called me and asked me if I wud want to meet my old school gang for a re-union and this guy was obviously part of the same gang. I was so flummoxed to see him work in a private equity firm, coz he was just not the types.

Scene 3: The weirdest of all..i see everyone at this PE firm throwing currency in the air..just randomly as if they were in a mumbai dance bar... PE firm turned into a dance bar filmy style??? why was i seeing this >>> only linkage is the the last nite dinner conversation where I heard about PE firms having and spending tons of money on its people...but what a symbolic way to show plenty in life :)

Scene 4: The weirdo quotient is just increasing..i see Akshaye Khanna (god dammit...i have never been even close to liking him as an actor) taking his car in reverse at 60 km/hr on a long Juhu street... 3 things here Akhaye Khanna, car in reverse at a speed, and why at juhu? >>> here goes my explanation....My mom was mocking at the wird faces he makes when he dances on screen....car in reverse: I everyday take out my car in reverse for good 20 metres..and everyday as i get more comfortable my speed is increasing ..why juhu..the other day i took a short cut frm tht street to skip the traffic

I dont even know if this exercise is worth it...but what i realize is small things that happen in our lifes..really things you wouldnt think twice about..kind of stay with us somewhere to express themselves again...Akshaye Khanna i still cant get it.... :(

Monday, July 10, 2006

The greatest planner of all

I start writing again..this time may be not on as dark a note like last time...come to think of it, its funny how trivial it looks in hindsight, the great pain I spoke about in my first entry.

But, I am not laughing at myself. I realize the trivial pains in life have have had their own contribution to make....I remember when I had just graduated from college (~2001) and was looking to enter the Big 5.....the firm which is 3 levels below where I sit today had rejected me in the very last round (trust me I din plan this in revenge!)... Pained me a lot 5 years back...in hindsight god had his own course for me.... had it all planned out for me...Off course no pain today....I am not trying to suggest "this shall pass too" sort of theory... This is not even a "smile in adversity" theory...But this is more got to do with what our wants are and more with what we think will make us happy....as if there is only one path to happiness...5 years back, I wanted that god damnn job...as if that was the only way to success...We forget that the great planner in his arial view of things is putting things in perspective for us...at his own pace... timing the wisdom only when you are ready to swallow it... deep pain then... trivial now! same goes for my first blog entry....terribly painful then....absolutely trivial today but again gives me the same wisdom I spoke about >>> "Many routes to happiness, yours may not be the best. And at the end of it whom are you challenging, the greatest planner of all"

Playing the devil's advocate now.... Does it mean I always give in to the planner...Dont I make any effort towards what I think is good for me? My solution to this: I shall always work at what I think is good for me coz I have no means of finding out what he is planning for me.... Just that I shall be open to any outcome...helps me get a soft landing and tells me whether I was seeking the truth (the latter benefit is not immediately visible)

The last thing I wanna say...this thought allows me to almost live in a cocoon...i may fall and tumble all over the place....but at the end of it I am still covered by the greatest planner

Disclaimer: All of what I say is applicable to all the finer things of life (I need not explain what). The examples I use are only for illustrative purposes though I admit I use such examples at extreme risk to my image being casted as isolated from the finer things in life. I am aware of this.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Salaam ISB

It was Solstice this weekend - the annual ISB alums reunion. But I have never had such a good weekend in years. Its been years since I used to go off to Lonavla for a weekend with my chuddy buddies and play all sorts of wierd pranks.

Why was this weekend so kewl and different?
Here it goes:
- I did not worry about my assignments
- I did not worry about placements
- I never occured the word investment banking [ok sorry...lies I did only once but I was forced to...again lies :)]
- I busted my 2 pegs limit at a party (this is as historic and phenomenal as Sensex touching a 4 year high.. you bet its been 4 years since i crossed that limit)...The good and the bad part was I ended up having pure mango juice for the next party...Why was this bad coz booze was on the house that day :(

Ok coming to the story of the weekend...we (as in M, A, K, D, R, N , G and yours truly)...M troubled us a lot with the kind of perfection she looks for...and the problem is for me dance is one way of enjoying myself and not the kind that the hand should complete one circle before they meet again and so on...I thought she was too ambitious but trust me it all was 'vasool' in the end. Thanks M.

People told us that we were better than the shaadi ka band from Bhatinda..oops london....But I dont know if we should have taken that as a compliment...

Nonetheless we had an amazing time..its good to breathe sometimes!




Friday, December 02, 2005

Intellectual honesty

Dunky's adventure with tennis

The flavour this term seems to be tennis....Pitamaha who is one hell of a guy and always game for anything i say agreed to play tennis with me...
FYI, I havent played tennis in my life nor have i even entered a tennis court....Pitamaha has actually agreed to bear me in all my sporadic sporting adventures including swimming, baddy, golf and now off course tennis.

To add to this we had 2 more amateurs: dunky and hashmi....so we decided to play doubles hashmi and pitamaha vs dunky and me...To our surprise we were playing pretty well... as with any sport the learning curve is pretty steep to start with...as you gain confidence and start playing with better players...u basically know where you stand

Coming to the "Story of the day"
Picture this:
dunky encouraged by his volley adventures standing right at the net.....
next hashmi charges onto the net (hashmi was playing quite hard squash ishtyle) and gives it back it to him..
and dunky instead of raising his bat 'high jumps' to return the shot....
however, we dint see the tennis racquet between dunky's eye and the ball as if this was a game of soccer and dunky was attempting a header
Next u know wat happened....
But dunky is another hell of a guy...he continued playing with one hand nursing the eye..i realise that without him....i wouldnt laugh as much and life at isb would be quite drab.... Though me and dunky lost quite badly ....it was one hell of a time we had.

adios

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

I promise myself

I have actually got up at this unearthly hour..Dude its 6:30 in the morning...last when did i see the sun rise....or forget it when did i last get up before 11 AM......or forget it when did i last sleep before sun rise.....so u understand i have got up for a reason and the reason is not coz i wannna see the sun rise coz there is some bit of greeks and spreads that i need to see before i give my last exam

Everytime at the end of exam season i promise myself that i will breathe ..... and i will reach out to the external world....
so this term to start with I plan to go for dinner at waterfront....otherwise i shall be killed or something like that.....you see I am not that bad..i too enjoy the sins of this world....just that I dont indulge....wat u thinking about dude????

Next i promise to read the newspaper and that I have been promising for way too long...this if i dont i wont be killed but i would definitely wont survive the onslaught of the placement season.....

Next i promise I will never try to be this kewl dude....who just studies at the last minute...I am not a kewl dude...I am a reasonably smart intelligent guy (get used to it!) ....who needs to study just like any other reasonably smart intelligent guy....

lastly, I promise to breathe.....

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Convexities and curves

Wats FIRA? FIRA is an accounting paper.....and guess what I screwed it.....Okay accepted I am not a kewl dude the one i described last time....i dint screw the whole thing but yes this was suposed to be my paper.....well another another exam...and irrespective of whether I am this lat minute stud or not , all i have is the last minute....
I promise to change the theme the next time.....now all i know of is the binomials and convexities.....and today i am just at the wrong end of the convex....

Monday, November 21, 2005

Intellectual honesty

This time I walk into the exams with a point to prove....its actually a me too point...Even I studied at the bloodiest last minute...like starting to study at 6:PM for a paper tom morning at 10..then watched TV for like an hour..i wanna be this kewl dude....who walks in with so little prep and yet cracks the exam...i have seen such ppl at isb..i nevah was like that ..... In Ca there was only one question we asked each other...How many times?....have coma a long way at ISB...have finally recahed the stage ke Ek baar ho gaya enuff hai....(I keep saying to myself its important how well u do and not how many times u do...Ya rite!) ....I donno wat to call this....chauvinism ....laziness....'even i can get good grades with little effort'.....

Me to myself now: shut up u dumbo..i know how dumb u r ..... all this work smart and all is not ur types ..shut up and get to your muggu giri.....